The Melody and the Malady
The Chair: Reflections from a Recovering Pastor
The official app of Alcoholics Anonymous is pictured with a blue circular background and a white folding chair. The app is simply known as the chair. The image signifies there always being an open seat for anyone. These chairs have been set up for those in need in church basements, hospitals, prisons, private homes and almost anywhere you could set up a few chairs.
I’ve long known of AA and the transformation people have experienced sitting in those chairs. A number of the congregations I’ve served have provided space for meetings. One such congregation was located in the middle of town and provided space in their basement for one of the most popular AA meetings in the area. One year the day and time of that particular meeting coincided with the Christmas Eve worship that would be happening directly above.
It was an old church, the oldest in town, which meant sounds and smells would easily be conveyed throughout. It was decided, after some conversation, to encourage the AA meeting to continue as that Holy Night was also one of hardship for those struggling with addiction and their sacred space was as needed as ours. Throughout our High Holy service we could hear the sounds of voices sharing, chairs shifting, claps erupting. Likewise the scent of cigarette smoke and incredibly strong coffee wafted heavenward towards our worship. I imagine that the sounds of our hymns and the shuffle of our feet as we yearned forward for communion reached their sacred space as well. While we celebrate Christmas by singing Silent Night we also remember that the first Christmas was anything but silent. It too was filled with the sounds of the sacred and the secular, the heavenly and the hellish, both melody and malady. In The Best Christmas Pageant Ever one small town’s church’s Christmas was transformed by more guests being welcomed into the circle. So too was that not so silent, but all the more holy night, in an old church in a small town in North Carolina.
These days I find myself sitting in a Pastor’s chair in sacred space helping people experience the holy. I also find myself sitting in one of those folding chairs in a church basement. Back on that Christmas Eve all those years ago I had no idea I’d sit in one of those chairs and experience for myself the sacredness of an otherwise secular assembly. I did not yet know that the heavenly would become so palatable in the midst of a hellish disease. I was unprepared for the melody that could come from shared malady. Those chairs give me time and space to reflect on truly grounding stuff. I’m Jonathan, a beloved child of God, made in the image and likeness of God and uniquely gifted in this world like no one before or no one after. And as the opening greeting goes, I'm an alcoholic. I’m a broken sinner who time and again wants to turn inwardly and needs regular help with my infirmities. The reflections you’ll read each week are the result of what happens in the chairs of AA, and the pews at church. I hope through them you’ll pull up a chair and reflect on how your mess paired with some age can become a message!
